Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Pantie Run

So...everyone has their own embarrassing moment and prior to this morning mine consisted of a jog back down memory lane. Back in the day I used to work at the DA's office. During my stint there there was a particular DA that was a single parent of a couple of daughters (don't remember how many). He was often in the news and such because of his reputation as a good DA. He was looked up to and considered a successful individual.

I was a single parent also and we would talk about the life, trial and tribulations of being a single parent. He had been one way far longer than I but still his anecdotes and advice was appreciated. One particular lunch break I decided that instead of going out I would take a little napp-i-poo at my desk because I was tired. So in my disengaged sleepiness I remember hearing my name being called. It was the DA. He was ever so graciously asking me for a file that he had been working on earlier. Of course I had the file...I was drooling on it!! The epitome of a gentleman, the DA took his hanky out of his suit pocket and wiped my spittle off of the file and tallihoo-ed on about his business. Up until this morning that is what I considered my most embarrassing moment.

So...I'm home making my morning cup of tea when I get a call from my son's school. I answer and it's my son whispering in the phone. Though he is whispering his tone is not one of juvenile giddiness it is of perturbation. He informs me that he has a pair of my panties inside of his backpack at school!! Ohmigawd!! A pair of my panties...The image of my son's backpack unzipped and opened on my bedroom floor right next to my bed suddenly flashes across my subconscious.

At first I think I'll tell him to just toss them in the trash but then I think...he doesn't want to touch my panties! And he sure as hell doesn't want to touch them in front of the other kiddies...so I had to bust a covert op and run to the school and secretly extract the, turns out black Baby Phat thong, from the backpack. Of course I got a flat on the way and had to stop to get air and then get a tire on the way home. These turned out to be some expensive ass drawls!

So until another embarrassing moment happens my way this ish here, this ish here...is the reigning champion.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Puff, puff pass....

You know this fiasco concerning Michael Phelps and his bong excursion is getting out of hand. The man has been restricted from participating in sporting events and losing endorsements now he's the subject of a "weedies" cereal box. Bad news travels fast and satirical pokes at the misfortune of others even faster. Personally, I could care less if he was smoking weed or smoking crack. It doesn't make me no never mind and the fact that people are all up in arms talking about how this incident has tainted his image to children is misguided. It's stodgy grown ups that are pointing the finger rather than kids. There may be some that have soured on the man but not all and those that haven't just wanna know if they can get a hit. I'd bet a pound of pineapple express on it.
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